It's too early...

DAY THREE (A.M):
Our tale begins around 8am...
It was getting to be around breakfast time so I asked the little boy if he was hungry. He said yes. I asked the little boy if he wanted to go out and get something to eat. He said no. I said, "But you're hungry, don't you want to eat?" "Yes," the little boy replies, "but can we eat here?" Sure, why not, I can make a bowl of cereal. He wants to watch his movie a little while longer so I head back to my room. A little time goes by and the Golden Arches pop up in my mind. So I go to the little boy and ask if he wants to go through the drive-thru. I told him he didn't even have to get dressed - I was going in my pajamas. So he gets up, gets on his shoes and we get into the car. By this time I am foaming at the mouth thinking about a Bacon, Egg and Cheese McGriddle with a hashbrown (or two) on the side. Mmmmmm. Then the unthinkable happens, "Is there anywhere to eat besides McDonald's?" WTF? It's Sunday thus Chik-Fil-A is closed leaving only Burger King. So the plans change and we are off to BK which in my opinion serves the utmost worst breakfast (2nd only to Pipo's). I am not happy and no longer hungry.

We come back to my abode and I call my grandma. Quicker than the speed of light the guilt trip starts. Pops and Debbie (the step-mother) are gonna take her dog (the 3rd J.D., J.D. III, JD3, J.D. cubed) to the groomers and they're taking grandma out for breakfast. Can't I ever get a break?

Pops just called and he seemed a'ight. I told him the little boy slept with his pacifier last night. He was as shocked as all of you readers. I am just happy the little boy slept in his own bed.

The fun starts now...

DAY ONE:
Our first scene takes place Friday night around 9pm...
I receive a call from the little boy, "Grandma Wilma wants to talk to you." Grandma Wilma says, "You can tell her it's grandma, you don't have to say Grandma Wilma." And it begins. She then gets on the phone and proceeds to tell me, "We'll be at the hotel real soon. Why don't you grab a change of clothes, meet us there and stay the night?" Uh.. No.

DAY TWO:
Saturday morning starts out bright and early...
Mom calls around 7a and wakes me up from a peaceful sleep. We all plan to have breakfast and decide Junior will hang out with me. The crew finally arrives at my crib around 9a and off to breakfast we go (we went to Pipo's - I do not recommend it - it's a lunch/dinner only type of joint). As we are waiting for the food mom looks over at me and whispers, "Don't freak out when he asks for a plastic fork." Apparently the boy will not use the metal utensils provided by the eating establishment.

As the meal concludes Mom says to me, "Alright then, we'll see you tomorrow." Huh? Tomorrow? It seems my big sistering was starting immediately, with no supervision I might add. Great. I took him to Gamespot to pick up some PS2 games. I figured that would be a good way to occupy him for a few hours. He plays Mafia and the Godfather, so when I saw Scarface I thought that would be a good choice. At the check out the girl tells me it is a mature game. I go back to my original thinking - he plays Godfather and Mafia - so I bought it. When we brought it home and popped it in the game console, I quickly realized you do not just say Hello to Tony's little friend. You also get to say Fuck you you mutha' fuckers as you shoot of rounds in people's asses. When you die instead of the standard Game Over or Try Again, you get You Fucked Up plastered on the screen. Nice. Danielle is doing well in her first adventure in babysitting.

Fortunately he brought a few games of his own so I left him in my office and plopped down in bed where I proceeded to nap for nearly 4 hours. Oops. He was fine though - technology is a great way to keep kids busy. As dinner time was nearing I decide we will take a trip to the grocery store to get the ingredients to make stuffed shells. Into the car we go but the car does not start. At some point I left my headlights on. I have no idea how this happened being I left home at 9a and it was bright and sunny. Well then pizza it is. I bribe my grandma with pizza to come over and jump my car. She meets the little boy and asks if he'll call his father tomorrow for Father's Day. The little boy says yes. Grandma then looks at me and says, "That's nice. It's very important for a father to be with his child on Father's Day. Some fathers won't have that this year." Kill me now.

After pizza the kid and I went swimming. This kid is scared of everything. I couldn't even get him to dive onto the raft and slide across the pool even thought I did it over and over again with a big smile on my face shouting "Wheee!!!" I had him building roller coasters and riding them with Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 in hopes he can man up and get on one during the Busch Gardens excursion. I am not holding my breath.

It's just past 9p and it's bedtime. He is in his room watching Ice Age and sucking his pacifier. I am not complaining - there were no diapers in his overnight bag.



Tune in next time where we'll start taking day trips to fabulous destinations such as Webster Flea Market and Busch Gardens.