Danielle Don't Do

In the late 80s – early 90s an athlete by the name of Bo Jackson (no silly, not Mr. Bojangles, but I think they were both people of color?) was endorsed by Nike. Bo played both professional football and baseball. Nike released a slew of commercials with the slogan Bo Knows. Bo Knows Football. Bo Knows Baseball. Bo Knows Tennis. (Bo now knows 20 years later nobody knows who Bo is.) I’d like to expand that concept with a little segment I like to call Danielle Don’t Do.

Everyone has things they hate doing and they’ll attempt to avoid these things at all costs unless humanly necessary. You may have a fear of spiders and alas, one day you find a big one in the house that you have to trap and/or kill. You don’t want to do this, you’d rather not, but you have to get rid of the arachnid. Or maybe you don’t swallow but there’s a new man in your life you’re trying to impress. As much as you loathe that thick, salty, mucus like substance slithering down your throat, you take one for the team and pray you don’t gag. Everyone has things they simply Don’t Do.

Danielle Don’t Do Cleaning
I refuse to take full responsibility (or any!) for my inability to keep ‘clean’. The inside of my house is a disaster with its own nickname – Danielle’s Den of Dirt, Dust & Debris. My yard is horrific and severely under kept. My pool is usually a deep shade of green (it was blue a few weeks ago but now has a yellowish tint). I never learned the concept of cleaning when I was younger for a few reasons. First and foremost, I was an only child/grandchild. I was raised by my grandmother (SHOUT OUT TO ABUELITA!) as the daughter she always wanted. As horrible as it sounds, what I wanted I got. Secondly, my grandmother worked as a maid. She cleaned houses all day and her job easily filtered into her duties at home (Please don’t call me spoiled – I may not have been taught how to clean house but I was taught how to be a strong and independent woman.). Being we can’t close real estate transactions during daylight, I had a few extra hours at work I needed to take off. As joyous as this may sound, it was not. I cleaned my bathroom. It hadn’t been cleaned since I took vacation last September. Somehow Isis got locked in there Friday night and ripped up everything she could sink her teeth into (she didn't make a sound mind you - I didn't realize she was in there until 4am).

I WARN YOU NOW - My bathroom scares people - clean or dirty. I tend to get the most shock when it's clean being it looks like a bottle of Pepto-Bismol exploded. Who would have thought me with a pink, princess bathroom?

BEFORE (with the floor half-assedly swept prior to picture taking):

AFTER:
AFTER (Now with Shower Storage!):
BEFORE (beauty products galore):
AFTER (Where did it all go?! Why in the new Shower Storage of course!):

Oh thank you, thank you everyone. You really like me! This couldn't be possible without me being single and living alone in a two bathroom house! Oh yeah, and God! No award is ever possible without God!