Impulse Shopping at its Finest

DAY THREE (P.M)
A continuation of DAY THREE (A.M)...
The plan was for me to go to Grandma's house for the Father's Day/Grandma's Birthday Combo. Mom came over and got the little boy in the afternoon and they set off on a day trip of their own. Mom, the little boy, and Wilma went off to Pinellas County to see my cousin Michael and take a walk on the beach. I opted to fore go this trip as for reasons unmentioned I do not speak to Michael and it seems like every time I walk on a beach I walk off sandy for days. The last I left it with my real family (god that's awful) was that Pops was going to call me after they got back to Grandma's house. At 4p I still had not received a call. I called Grandma and apparently the day was done. Everyone was back home at their respective houses - a good time had been had by all, while the guilt trip for Danielle had just begun. I took the afternoon off and was able to relax in all the rooms within my home.

The crazies returned and the drama started. On the ride back to this side of the bay, Gina (Mom's sister; Michael's mom) called Wilma and said Michael's feelings were hurt because they (Mom and Wilma) didn't invite him to the beach. Being they only took a walk on the beach and were there for a half hour or so, this really upset Wilma. Mom walks into my house, grabs the phone and calls Michael. Mom yells (and this is a quote), "Your mom called my mom and said (end quote) blah blah blah." My mom called your mom? I just laughed aloud.

DAY FOUR:
To Webster we shall go...
NEVER use Yahoo! Maps to get a map from Tampa to Webster Flea Market. I went up there a few months ago and had the same problem. Basically, it doesn't tell you where to turn and you just keep on going down this scene from Deliverance with no where U-turn. No side roads. No shoulders. Nothing. I finally found a dirt road and had to do a 15 point turn to get us back to SR50. Finally we arrived at our location and the shopping begun. Within the first 20 minutes I was already making a trip back to the car. Slowing down my progress was the little boy. He had to stop and look at everything. EVERYTHING. He would pick up items and ask the vendor if they were "old-timey." He picked up an old pair of glasses and put them on. Mom looks over at him and screams, "Take those off of your head - they belong to somebody dead!" Everyone turned and looked. Danielle just walked away. A few spaces down the little boy picked up a pair of glasses and asked the vendor if they were a dead person's. We stumble across the organ sales superstore of Webster. There's a man playing and the little boy asks if he could play. "Sure," the man says and the little boy sits down and starts a playing. The people walking by stopped and gathered 'round. Mom said she should have gotten a hat to throw on the floor. It was creepy.

Then we stumble upon mu kryptonite - unwanted dogs. These people were selling designer dogs. I've seen these animals before - the cocker-poo; the morkie; the buggle; the labra-doodle (whose bitches get knocked up via in-vitro and deliver a la c-section I hope) - you know - MUTTS. They had a few crates with dogs and each crate had 3 or 4 little puppies (8 weeks old). Then I saw this dog all alone, no other puppies in his crate. He was a bit bigger than the others. Turns out he was 11 weeks old which meant shelf life was about to expire. How could I possibly go home with a conscience if I left that animal there.

And then there were three........

Meet INSERT NAME HERE**. He is a Goldmatian - a dalmatian/golden retriever (i.e. mutt).

When we got home the little boy went swimming. As I was going inside to get my cigarettes I walked by the little boy. He was about to jump so I pushed him in. You would have thought I beat him like a redheaded stepchild. He was crying hysterically and had to sit on Mom's lap.

Dinner tonight was at Pops' house. I may have missed it yesterday but I got it tonight. At dinner Pops asked Grandma what David (my in-the-closet uncle (we all think)) did for Father's Day. Grandma says they had a big barbecue. I looked up and asked if Justin (my little cousin) bought 2 Father's Day cards on Father's Day. My stepmother almost spit out her food.

Side Notes:

The little boy DOES NOT look anything like me. He looks sickly and bird like (I know I'm going to hell)

Mom keeps saying that me and the little boy have the same attitudes and dispositions. Genetics. She's now spawned another crazy one. This coupled with his off upbringing is sure to make a fine docu-drama one day.

**INSERT NAME HERE CONTEST - Now YOU can name the newest edition to the ElleRose Clan (I have as many orphans as Santa Angelina now). If I pick your name you may win something cool. Or not cool. Or you will win nothing at all. Hey - I have a coupon here for a free pizza..