I work in an office complex which consists of 4 stand alone buildings. For three years now I've been gazing into this photographer's lobby during my smoke breaks, thinking one day he'll come out and ask me to model. Then one day, at the end of one really bad month, it happened. The photographer came up and asked if he could take some pics of me. I looked at him and asked, "With clothes on?" "Yes," he replied. Relieved I would not be photographed in my birthday suit I agreed. He told me he had gotten some new lighting equipment and wanted to experiment with it in a 30's style silent movie shoot. I thought that would be neat and signed right up. For three years I imagined this, saw this, lived this, and -viola- it materialized. The Secret really does work.
I was up Friday night freaking out. I've been an ANTM whore for years now. I've listened to the judges criticized the photos - this one looks dead in the eyes - this one only has one look. Anxienty sets in. I get there the next morning and decide to run with it. I head in and meet the makeup lady. I looked at her tray of goodies and... what this? It can't be.. The Wonder Wheel (I don't know if that's the right name but that's what we'll call it). For over a decade now (on and off) I've been wearing the Home Shopping Network's Signature Club A Wonder Wheel as a foundation. The people I'd show it to thought I was crazy - this thing has a slew of colors - anchorwoman blue for under the eyes; lavender for redness; yellow for something else. Before the foundation went on I'd look like Anna Nicole in the infamous clown video. But in the end my face always came out virtually flawless. Granted it was like having a mask on your face at all times due to the thickness of the makeup. It was way heavy and felt like it was melting away on a hot summer day. But all in all it was well worth it. The segment on HSN always said the Wonder Wheel was used by professionals and here we were - the hired make up lady was using the Wonder Wheel on me. How great is that? I went home and immediately placed a new order.
The photographer emailed me some of the shots he retouched. I opened the email this morning and got misty eyed. This one is my favorite. It's me as Bonnie Parker.
Life with the litter has proved to be quite interesting. It's crazy walking around the house and having three dogs under foot. Three. When the little one barks, Osiris shoots me this look like, "Why? Why did you have to bring this animal into the house?" Puppy has taken a liking to biting O's tail which makes mama's big boy a little irritated. I try to tell him he used to do the same thing to his sister when he was little but he doesn't seem to want to listen. Speaking of the herd - WE HAVE A WINNER! Actually we have two. The newest edition to my herd has been named: Anubis Emmanuel Lewis ('cause he's the anti-christ). Here's a big thanks to our winners Michelle and Debbie. Great job ladies! Let me know when you would like me to have your pizza delivered! Also let me know if you'd like to have a little dog delivered with your pizza. I'm telling you this bad boy is the anti-christ.
2 comments:
You didn't tell me she had the WONDER WHEEL!! You may have to wait a few months before you can start using it again. Or avoid going outside altogether. I'd start smoking in my office.
THE PICTURE DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE YOU, BUT YOU LOOK SO PRETTY!!!!
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