Kinda.. I've been gushing about my man for days now (and believe me I'm still gushing) but I know everyone is tired of reading about it, so we shall go back and focus on the real issue - me.
Although Xanax is supposed to mellow you out, if I take too much I get manic as hell and down right nasty (so I hear). I hate this because those poor people surrounding me have to take the brunt of kookiness. Last night was a somewhat good mania - I cleaned the hell out of my crank (guest) bedroom. You can walk around on both sides of the bed, which has clean sheets and a pretty comforter set. It actually looks like a bedroom of some sort now. I can even have overnight guests. I'm trying, dammit. In time, this will be my man's room. I want him to feel comfortable.
Regarding my drug habit - I've been taking 1 mg on my way home and another 1 mg before bed (2mg per day - twice the prescribed amount). I'm going to try not to take any on the way home (or maybe just a .5). I can't remember the last time I didn't pop a Xanax at some point in the day. I'm a little concerned that I may not be able to kick this stuff when I'm ready (which should be now, but it's not). You know you have a problem when it's not fun anymore. Initially I used to pop them to get fucked up, then it was to calm down. Now, hell, I don't know why I do it now. Force of habit I guess.
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